In my 20's, I felt so lost. I felt that I was a woman of faith in God but the faith in man was diminishing. Although I was behaving like I was enjoying life with friends and family, my spiritual being was dying slowly.
I had no one to talk to. I had feelings of spiritual despair. My spiritual being was inhaling the dark. I started to see darkness even I knew light supposed to guide me . I tried to hold onto the little light I had through my natural spirit since childhood. However the imperfection of man destroying other imperfect men creating shaped my internal being.
But as I felt the monsters in me, my God whispered in my ears, "I am with you".
Although I cried many nights, my God whispered, "I am holding you".
Even though I wanted to be violent toward my fellow man, my God whispered, "I am stopping you."
And even the days I wanted to sleep and die, my God whispered, "You have work to do."
Here I am, MY GOD.
Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
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